Debbie and Carol met through Red Nose (Sids & Kids at the time) over 20 years ago and have remained good friends ever since. They both spent a lot of those years volunteering and fundraising for Red Nose. Debbie was a peer support volunteer for over 15 years and her and Carol also use to organise an annual dinner for Red Nose families to come together.

Over the last few years they haven’t been as connected/involved with the organization – but recently with the help and support of Carol, Debbie decided to hold a Red Nose fundraiser in memory of her son Jesse who died from SIDS 28 years ago. Since the fundraising event there has been a renewed connection to Red Nose and I think this is a beautiful example of the significance and longevity of these very special friendships – but also the fact that grief is not linear, and that no matter how much time has passed these connections with both individuals but also the broader community/Red Nose can be so important and meaningful.

 

How did you become friends?

We became friends through SIDS and Kids, I had lost Jesse in 1993, and  Carol lost her Grandson Mitchell in 1997. We joined the club that nobody wishes to join, finding solidarity in each other. 

What are the three most important things that make your friendship what it is?

Similar values for giving back to the organisation, our friendship is always there even if life takes over and we lose contact for a while, it’s like no time has ever past. Honesty.

What traits do you most admire in each other?

Carol loves my openness, my honesty and my devotion to family and friends. I love Carol's love of life, her generosity, and her infectious laugh and her warmth for everyone.

What’s your favorite memory of each other?

The Red Dinner Do! We loved organising, attending and hosting these events for families who had also lost a child.

If you could give advice to people who want to help a friend through the loss of a baby or child/grandchild what would it be?

Listen, be there, give space, don’t offer advice, just be there, especially a month after the loss when everyone else has gone.

What would you say to a someone who has just experienced the loss of a baby or child/grandchild about reaching out to Sands (and Red Nose?) 

Do it, they are there to support everyone who has lost a child regardless of age and cause of loss

If you have a special friend you would like to acknowledge this International Friendship Day you can order a Friendship Day tile to help celebrate and thank them for supporting you through your darkest moments.