'Every year since Harry died, our children have enjoyed having a cake for him on his birthday, and leaving flowers for him at his grave site.' – Ian

The death of a baby can have a profound impact on children – those who were expecting a new brother or sister, the surviving twin of a multiple birth as well as on children born after a baby has died.

After your baby has died it’s natural to feel anxious and protective towards your other children.

It can be especially hard to work out the right amount of information to provide them.

While what you say may change according to their age, a general rule is to explain what has happened using direct language and to be prepared for children’s questions and feelings, which may be complicated or even conflicting.

Changes in behaviour can be common as children try to process their emotions. Maintaining a routine as far as is possible can help. Providing opportunities for play, painting or drawing can also give your child a way of expressing what they are thinking and feeling.

Our brochure, Children & Grief explains in greater detail what to expect, tips to help you understand your child’s experience of grief according to their stage of development, and ideas for how to answer tricky or triggering questions.

Caring for your other children

Contact a parent supporter