Who are you ‘dad’ to?

We have four beautiful children - Juliette, Dominic, Sophie and Oliver. Unfortunately Dominic was stillborn in 2014, but we have many mementos about the house, and ensure we talk about him often. It is heartwarming that the other three kids will mention Dominic sometimes out of the blue. 
What does Father’s Day usually look like in your household?

We usually do a small family outing - perhaps a picnic to a park - with just our direct family. We catch up with extended family at other times around the Father's Day weekend, but on the day itself my wife and I just focus on ourselves and our children, Dominic included. It is nice to have a day just with our small family unit, without the busy everyday distractions of work and chores. It is also bittersweet, as we are of course missing a very important family member. But having a day set aside purely for our family does make Dominic's presence feel included  
As a bereaved dad, how do you feel around Father’s Day (and the lead up to it)

The most uncomfortable thing about the lead-up to Father's Day is the feeling that our stillborn son doesn't "count", by the average person's standards. If people ask "Are you doing anything with the kids?", there doesn't seem to be any consideration for Dominic. On the day, however, this is not felt so acutely, as within our family unit and we include Dominic's presence.   
What would you say to a fellow bereaved dad approaching this milestone for the first time?

Father's Day can be a tough reminder of what isn't a part of our everyday lives - our children we have lost. But by keeping a yearly ritual, it does not need to be a morbid day - rather a remembrance,and way to keep your child's presence with you. Our lost children will never leave us, so keeping their presence in our lives is one of the few things we have control over. Find a way to include your children - living and lost - in the day. As this becomes an annual ritual, it keeps the memory of your lost children close and included in your family.